Return of the ‘Necks

There’s just too much behavior to cover with one blog post. I’m proud to say I’ve displayed more than a few ‘neck like qualities. They are inherent characteristics as American as extension cords or adding bacon to everything. So without further ado, here are a few more endearing traits of a ‘Neck.

• Having a picture calendar hanging in your house for everyday use…’Neck.
• Toilets that aren’t white or off-white…’Neck.
• Couch pillows with embroidered messages on it…‘Neck.
• Taking your coat off immediately after entering a home…‘Neck.
• Referring to your young grandchildren as your grandbabies…‘Neck.
• There are Salt Packets in your glove box…‘Neck.
• Always referencing God as “the good Lord” …‘Neck.
• Putting “that” before an athlete’s name when offering commentary (i.e. “That Aaron Rodgers can really sling it.”)…‘Neck.
• Knowing County geography better than anybody…‘Neck.
• Knowing the exact number of days until retirement…‘Neck.
• Referring to an office as “Place of Business”…‘Neck.
• The den or office at your home is more commonly called the “cm’puter room”…‘Neck.
• Avoiding the use of a shopping cart…‘Neck.
• Paying 95% of your discretionary expenses with Cash. If a credit card is needed, you verbally authorize its use to the payee with “go ahead and put it on the Discover”…‘Neck.
• Never answering your mobile phone with “Hello”, only “yeah?”…‘Neck.
• The phrase “I’m more of a meat and potato guy” is used at a “fancy” restaurant with an eclectic menu…‘Neck.
• You slowly nod your head to the waitress after giving her your order…‘Neck.
• Coffee is ordered at every meal, any time…‘Neck.
• Complimenting a family as “they’re good people”…‘Neck.
• Doing anything romantically suggestive with your lady while pumping Gas…‘Neck.
• “They’re just not made like they used to” (especially referring to can openers)…‘Neck.
• “I gotta go drain the horse” among other euphemisms for using the bathroom…‘Neck.
• “I wasn’t raised that way”…‘Neck.
• Starting any question with “Let me ask you something”…‘Neck.
• The breakfast table has never been without Ketchup…’Neck.
• Applying the phrase, “I don’t get all the fuss about…” towards anything internet related…’Neck.
• Cans larger than 12 ounces.

…’Neck!

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